Hadithcore
Sahih Muslim, 1476 a
sahih

'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) sought our permission when he had a (turn to spend) a day with (one of his wives) amongst us (whereas he wanted to visit his other wives too). It was after this that this verse was revealed:

" You mayest put off whom you pleasest of them, and take for you whom you pleasest" (xxxiii. 5). Mu'adha said to her: What did you say to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) when he sought your permission? She said: I used to say: If it had the option in this I would not have (allowed anyone) to have precedence over me.

حَدَّثَنَا سُرَيْجُ بْنُ يُونُسَ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبَّادُ بْنُ عَبَّادٍ، عَنْ عَاصِمٍ، عَنْ مُعَاذَةَ الْعَدَوِيَّةِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَسْتَأْذِنُنَا إِذَا كَانَ فِي يَوْمِ الْمَرْأَةِ مِنَّا بَعْدَ مَا نَزَلَتْ ‏{‏ تُرْجِي مَنْ تَشَاءُ مِنْهُنَّ وَتُؤْوِي إِلَيْكَ مَنْ تَشَاءُ‏}‏ فَقَالَتْ لَهَا مُعَاذَةُ فَمَا كُنْتِ تَقُولِينَ لِرَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِذَا اسْتَأْذَنَكِ قَالَتْ كُنْتُ أَقُولُ إِنْ كَانَ ذَاكَ إِلَىَّ لَمْ أُوثِرْ أَحَدًا عَلَى نَفْسِي ‏.‏

References2 variants
In-Book Reference
Book 18, Hadith 31
USC-MSA web (English) reference
Book 9, Hadith 3499 (deprecated numbering scheme)
Sharh · explanationclick to expand
The Prophet's wives loved him dearly to the extent that they used to compete to please him and show their love to him. In this Hadīth, the Mother of the Believers ‘Ā’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) reports that the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) used to ask permission from his wife, whose turn was due, to go to another one of his wives. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) had nine wives, and he used to allocate a day for each to stay with her overnight. This act of his seeking permission was after the revelation of the following verse: {You [O Prophet] may postpone [the turn of] whoever you wish [of your wives], and you may share your time with whoever of them you wish, and there is no blame on you if you call back any of those whose turn you have set aside. That is more likely that they will be content and not distressed, and that they will be satisfied with what you give them all. Allah knows what is in your hearts, and Allah is All-Knowing, Most Forbearing.} [Surat al-Ahzāb: 51] This verse means: O Messenger, you have the right to delay the turn of whoever you wish of your wives and not stay overnight with her, and you have the right to share your time with whoever you wish of them and stay overnight with her; and there is no blame on you if you call back any of those whom you have delayed. Giving you the choice and making things flexible for you are more likely to make your wives content and satisfied with what you give them all for knowing that you have not neglected duty and have not withheld a right, and Allah knows what is in your hearts - O men - of inclination to some women apart from others, as Allah is All-Knowing of His slaves' actions and nothing thereof is hidden from Him, and He is Most Forbearing and does not hasten to punish them hoping that they may return to Him in repentance. The female Tābi‘i Mu‘ādhah al-‘Adawiyyah asked ‘Ā’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her): "What did you use to say to the Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) when he asked for your permission?" ‘Ā’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) replied that she used to say to the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him): "Were it up to me," i.e., if this act of seeking permission is in my hands, "I would not give anyone preference over myself," i.e., I would not give my day to another wife. This was due to her love to be close to the Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) to serve him, enjoy intimacy with him, and benefit from him. Such a competition between his wives was not for mere pleasure, intimacy, personal desires, and enjoyment, as is the case with some people. Instead, it was a competition for matters related to the Hereafter and for being close to the master of the first and the last, for expecting the descent of mercy and revelation upon him while being with her and so on. The Hadīth clarifies one of the Prophet's exclusive rights, namely choosing whomever he wished from his wives whenever he wished. It also points out some of the etiquettes between spouses and teaches them how a man should seek his wives' permission when sharing his time with them and how the woman should show him love and affection..
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